How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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