He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
