the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
