is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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