he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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