I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
