Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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