i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
