So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
