i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
