Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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