It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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