my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
