sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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