If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
