I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
not ubering you a puppy
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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