I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
