Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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