what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
