I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
