Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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