Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The best revenge is premature balding
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
