i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
