I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
