Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
