Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
