..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
