They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
