How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
