i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The power of my boobs compel you
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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