I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
