That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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