Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
