i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
