dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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