we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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