Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
