Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
