he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
