we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
