there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
