I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
