Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
