Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
