People with herpes should wear stickers.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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