On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
