just survived the first fart of the relationship.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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