Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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