Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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