my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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