So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
All I want is dick and wine.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
