Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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