hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
